The One Fingered Salute

The Praise and Worship Band of the Smallville Corps (SVD) has been disbanded because it was “too relevant”.

The band, consisting of drums, keyboards and guitars was formed in 2002 as a complement to the traditional brass band and piano. It was originally intended to accompany singing with a more contemporary, modern feel.

Captain Dudley Ward, who pastors the small congregation said, “The praise band really came into its own over the last few years. Unfortunately it did its job a little too well.”

A parishioner, who declined to be named, said, “I can’t understand it. The band was great. The music was on my level. The songs they sang spoke to me. No matter how I was feeling I’d walk out after the service feeling great, like I could do anything. Why get rid of it?”

Captain Ward explains that the band did its job so well the rest of the service wasn’t needed. “The praise band would play for about ten minutes and everything after that else seemed superfluous. The players in the brass band felt their contribution wasn’t necessary. The sermon wasn’t able to compete with the lyrical perfection of the songs. So once the praise band had finished their first song or two, there didn’t seem any point hanging around.”

And hang around they didn’t. One worshipper tells how after hearing the band play one Sunday she left the church and went to visit her brother whom she hadn’t seen in twenty years. Another person reports leaving the church and going to a nursing home to volunteer the time he saved not being in church.

Captain Ward went on to explain the decision to close the band. “Closing the band down does seem a little odd. I mean, it’s perfect! Yet we were getting close to the point where we didn’t actually need the service, and that could cause bigger problems for our church down the track. So we had to make some hard decisions.”

Band members are disappointed, but accepted the disbanding. Band Leader and keyboardist Jeff Boughin said, “It was actually affecting us as well. We’d rarely get to the end of our second song without someone shouting ‘Hallelujah!’ and running out the door. And isn’t it better to quit at the top of your game?”

Captain Ward and Mr Boughin have agreed that the band can still play on special occasions. “It would be great to get them back once in a while,” said Captain Ward. “There are some Sundays—for example, Red Shield Appeal Sunday—where getting folks out the door can be a little difficult.”